To Thine Own Self be True

Polonius:
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!

Hamlet Act 3

Confessions:

1.  I don't drink soda, coke, pop or whatever it is called.  I have had an occasional Sprite while sick, but have otherwise abstained since 2005.

2.  I find it amusing when people post on Facebook how to hide their personal phone numbers, but have the year they graduated high school and often their favorite food and childhood pets are hidden somewhere within their photos.  With so many women using their maiden name as their middle name Facebook it doesn't take much to figure out your mother's maiden name even without the family tree app.  Just do a check in at a bank and your account could probably be accessed using information on your social media page.

3.  "Can I give you some advice," or "would you like some advice," raise my blood pressure.  Since I was a small child I have felt this way.  It is the equivalent of saying I am stupid or haven't thought things through.

4.  I love hearing differing perspectives on most anything, but that does not mean that I will change my mind to agree with you.  I will only debate with those who have an open mind and are open to hearing my take on things.

5.  I never understood why girls have to go in groups to the bathroom or talked about their BFFs behind their backs.  I will not say anything unedifying behind your back and I expect the same in return.  Frienemies need not call or text.

6.  There are three compliments I have been paid that keep me going when I feel down.
A.  I always thought you had the perfect body.
B.  You live your life like a Christian.  Underline Christian.
C.  She is the epitome of what every Christian man wants in a wife.  (Spoken to a friend.)
Perhaps it is most ironic that the first two compliments came from two gay, male friends.  

7.  I am an introvert.  When I am packing moving boxes, cooking dinner, or even shopping, I like to do it alone.  I know most people don't get this.

8.  I do not like to be the center of attention unless I have a defined role such as teacher, presenter or speaker.  Having a wedding or baby shower thrown in my honor stresses me out.  I love the fellowship and of course the gifts, but more than 3-4 people together overwhelms me even when I know all of them.

9.   I have stuck up for my husband's ex-wife a few times.  Whenever I hear of conflict between two people I my best to understand both sides of the argument.  I can understand why she may have responded the way she did a few times because I would (and did) feel the same way in my first marriage.

10.  For years my least favorite day of the year was Mother's Day.  I used to skip church on Mother's Day to avoid a crying fit when all mothers were asked to stand while I sat by myself.  I find no fault with any childless woman who despises this day.

11.  Greeting time at church is the most stressful time of the week for me.  If there is a church that does not have this built into the service I would go there.

12.  I have struggled with my body image since I was in the second grade and began binging and purging when I was 17.  2008 was my last episode of food purging and 2009 was the last time I exercised excessively.

13.  I do not care what is in style.  If I like something I will wear it and if I don't, I won't.  I like things that are classic with a retro flair from the 60's.    

14.  I was 30 when I had my first (and only so far) child.  At church I was often made to feel like a second class person because of my childlessness.  Working in the nursery was a tortuous reminder of what I was missing.

15.  I have the memory of an elephant, or at least I used to.  I can remember random details from insignificant interactions.  My brain seeks patterns which it stores in massive vaults.  My husband says I am psychic, but I am not.  I have successfully predicted 7 pregnancies based on watching husbands and wives interact or random facebook posts.  

16.  I am a feeler.  I base decisions on whether or not something feels right regardless of what makes sense.  If I say something feels right, that is the decision I will go with.  If something doesn't feel right, I will make a decision against it.

17.  Negative, anxious, and over-emotional people stress me out.

18.  I have a college degree and enough post-grad credits for 2 Master's degrees and yet I love being a stay at home mommy.  I know it goes against feminism, but there is nothing I love more than playing with my little boy and keeping house.