Isaiah 54:1-8
"Sing, O barren,
You who have not borne!
Break forth into singing, and cry aloud,
You who have not labored with child!
For more are the children of the desolate,
Than the children of the married woman," says the Lord.
"Enlarge the place of your tent,
And let them stretch out the curtains of your dwellings;
Do not spare; lengthen your cords,
And strengthen your stakes.
For you shall expand to the right and to the left,
And your descendants will inherit the nations,
And make the desolate cities inhabited.
Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed;
Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame.
For you will forget the shame of your youth,
And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore.
For you Maker is your husband,
The Lord of hosts is His name;
And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel;
He is called the God of the whole earth.
For the Lord has called you
Like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, like a youthful wife when you were refused,"
Says the Lord.
"For a mere moment I have forsaken you,
But with great mercies I will gather you.
With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment;
But with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you,"
Says the Lord, your Redeemer.
A friend of mine gave me these verses in the fall of 2006. I wrote them out on notecards and stuck them on my fridge. Every day for two years I read over them.
In August 2008 I travel to Newcastle, England where I would spend the next several months teaching primary school. I had been officially divorced for exactly one year on the day I left. In that time I went on many dates with several different guys. It's not that these men weren't prince charming, they just weren't my prince charming.
I scribbled Isaiah 54 1:8 onto notecards and tacked them to a cork board in the kitchen of my English flat. I read over these notecards daily, but it as mainly out of habit. Living in England was one of my heart's desires so surely God would answer the other desires of my heart. What were the desires of my heart? What was I looking for in a life partner? So many things that I thought were important did not seem to be present in the guys I was attracting.
I pondered this on a drive from Glasgow to Newcastle one Sunday afternoon. I determined that I wanted a partner who was from the United States, preferably the South. Tennessee would be okay, though I wasn't sure why, but I most certainly wanted him to have family in Texas since that is where my family lived. On top of that, he must want to live overseas, somewhere, anywhere. The place was not what was important to me, just the desire to live outside the U.S.
A few weeks later I was riding a train from Aberdeen to Newcastle when I decided what most people would think obvious. Prior to this, I thought I would be fine with a partner who respected my faith and was okay with me attending church regularly. My parents did not attend church, read their Bibles or even pray in front of my brothers and me when we were little, so I thought one out of two parents demonstrating faith would be fine. I knew that it was unbiblical to be unequally yoked and that had led to the downfall of my previous marriage. Why was going to allow this to happen again and why would I bring my children up in a home divided on the spiritual front?
On top of that I had a real problem with porn. I did not like porn and had been labeled a prude in this category by many. I know myself, I know my struggles with body image and feeling attractive. Several men and women have tried to convince me that porn was completely acceptable. My stance had been that I was not going to tell anyone what to do, but that I would not participate in it. Only, my heart's desire was to have a spouse who viewed porn as I did; lusting after another and therefore adulterous. My list seem ominous. Finding a spouse who met this criteria seemed impossible.
On Tuesday afternoon of half-term break I prayed over this list. Then I did something I had not done in a very long time; I reread Isaiah 54:1-8 and meditated on it. I really meditated on it. I prayed that God would take my desire to be a wife and mother away or that a spouse would be provided who met this criteria. I began adding things to the list and in the end this is what I had:
1. Active Christian faith
2. From the south, Tennessee or Texas
3. Must have relatives in Texas
4. Opposed to porn
5. Divorced with no kids
6. Desire to live outside the U.S.
7. Does not own (or often use) a video game system
8. Appreciate made from scratch cooking
9. Must hate fast food
10. Must love good, no frills coffee
11. Must be knowledgeable or is willing to learn about wine
I decided that I was going to be single for the rest of my life! I traveled to the Lake District the next two days and was home for about one day before heading to the coast to spend the weekend in a house with new friends. During my traveling break I received an email through MySpace. There was a fella telling me that he clicked on my page and was impressed by the Bible verse I had on my homepage (2Corinthians 12:10). He said he was finishing up culinary school and would be moving to Boise in the spring. He asked for my recommendations on bakeries and coffee shops in the Boise area.
My response was a flat, "I am in England right now."
"That is so cool! Tell me about it," he typed back.
After my weekend away, I began thinking about this and wondered if maybe, just maybe he fit some of my criteria. I explored his MySpace page and discovered that he did meet several items on my list. We began using IM and with the time difference I would normally be making coffee while he was about to hit the hay. One morning this was our conversation:
Melanie: Hang on, my timer went off and I have to press my coffee.
Josh: You press your coffee?
Melanie: I drink French press coffee every morning. I don't even own a drip machine in the U.S.
Josh: I have 2 French presses! That is my favorite way to make coffee!
Despite all of our doubts, fears, ups and downs over the past few years, I love reminiscing about our meeting. In time I found that Josh met all the criteria on my list. I love to think that one day after giving the situation entirely to God, Josh and I were introduced. I was scared, nervous, fearful, and anxious about taking the plunge a second time, but knowing that God provided someone who was the desire of my heart calmed those negative emotions.
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